Two of everything

My youngest son literally has two of everything. It’s cathartic. Let me explain.

I had a unique upbringing. I, too, had everything. I was spoiled beyond belief with tangible materialistic items. It was… excessive.

Naturally everyone singles me out due to my overbearing childhood experiences. They too assume I do the same for my children because it is what I am use to. It is not. Let me explain.

My Memory: You are ten years old standing outside of your house in the front yard playing catch with your brand new softball gear. Out of no where multiple black SUV’s appear like a whirlwind surrounding your home. Confused. Scared. You are rushed into the house and locked into your bedroom. Peering under the crack of your door you see what seems like one hundred pairs of shoes running throughout your entire house. The noises were chaos, fear, and shame. You gather the courage and open to crack your door and you see men going through dresser drawers throwing the clothes out as they go. You shut the door. You then, are escorted to the kitchen as the people devour your own space. You watch them one by one hand off all of your belongings which included your brand new Christmas presents and take them with them in their big black SUVs. You are then ordered to go into your room and clean up the enormous mess that was not made by you.

Looking back at that tumultuous situation that was left in shambles I am infused with the contentment of never allowing things to be taken from my children. I over buy so they never have to go without and so they always have options. If something gets lost, stolen, or broken, they have another to not have to ever miss.

As an adult, as a parent, the tangible materialistic items were obviously absolutely nothing in the bigger picture of things. However as a child, my space was invaded, my belongings were stolen, and in turn it had turned me into an individual who constantly regurgitated anxiety due to the paranoia and the fear of the unknown.

Honesty and stability — has been the mission statement, so to speak, of my entire life.